Weddings are a time to celebrate love, joy, and sometimes, a little humor. And what better way to make your wedding day even more memorable than with a few funny and cheeky dirty wedding jokes? Whether you’re the bride, groom, or just a guest at the celebration, these jokes will get everyone laughing and add a spark of fun to the ceremony or reception. We’ve gathered a collection of the funniest wedding jokes that will make everyone laugh, from playful remarks about the vows to hilarious moments about the cake.
These dirty wedding jokes are perfect for sharing between friends, family, and even during those speeches that can sometimes get too serious. So, if you’re ready to add some light-hearted humor to the mix, keep reading! These jokes are sure to get some laughs, and maybe even a few blushes, from everyone in the room.
Hilarious Dirty Wedding Jokes to Crack Up Your Guests
Weddings are all about love, laughter, and a little bit of cheeky humor! Whether you’re a guest or part of the bridal party, these dirty wedding jokes will have everyone in stitches:
Why did the bride wear white?
Because the groom was wearing black! It’s a wedding, not a funeral!
Why was the wedding cake so good at keeping secrets?
Because it was always frosting over the truth.
What’s the best part of a wedding ceremony?
The vows… because that’s when you get to hear a bunch of lies before the cake.
Why do brides always look so happy on their wedding day?
Because they know they’ve just locked down a lifetime of “I told you so” moments.
What’s a wedding photographer’s favorite part of the ceremony?
The “I do”s, because they know the couple will never be able to “un-do” anything ever again.
What do you call a wedding without an open bar?
A “missed” opportunity for fun.
Why do wedding guests always love the first dance?
Because it’s the only time they get to see the bride move without a gag reflex.
Why did the groom bring a ladder to the wedding?
Because he heard marriage takes your relationship to new heights!
Why do wedding planners always look so frazzled?
Because they have to keep it together while everyone else is falling apart.
What do you get when you cross a wedding with a circus?
A “ringmaster” who can’t juggle their responsibilities.
Why did the bride ask for a mic on her big day?
So she could make sure her groom didn’t “talk her out” of a single thing!
Why was the groom sweating during the ceremony?
Because he realized the real question wasn’t “Will you marry me?” but “What did I get myself into?”
What’s the best wedding advice for the bride?
Make sure the groom’s pockets are always full… of tissues for when you cry.
What did the wedding guest say to the bride?
“I’m glad you found someone to put up with your quirks, but I still think you should have stayed with me.”
Why did the groom wear sunglasses at the wedding?
Because he’s been “blinded by love.”
What did the bride say to the maid of honor?
“Can you help me keep him from running? No, seriously, he’s halfway to the parking lot.”
What’s the difference between a wedding and a funeral?
At a wedding, the groom’s side doesn’t mind getting “hitched” to the bride.
Why was the groom surprised when he saw the wedding cake?
Because he didn’t realize they had been “married” to frosting for the last three hours.
Why did the bride hide the wedding dress?
She didn’t want the groom to “accidentally” spill his drink on it again.
What’s the hardest part of the wedding for the groom?
The “I do’s,” because he’s not sure what he’s getting himself into!
Why do wedding guests always ask about the food?
Because it’s the only thing more important than the vows.
What do you call a wedding that happens on a boat?
A “shipwreck” of emotions!
What’s a wedding’s best-kept secret?
That the best part of marriage is the first few minutes when you’re just “getting” to the cake.
Why don’t wedding speeches ever get old?
Because they always leave you wondering: “Who’s paying for the bar tab?”
What’s a groom’s favorite part of the wedding night?
When they’re “tied the knot” and also tied up with all that excitement.
Why do brides always feel like they’re floating on air?
Because they’ve got nothing to do except get swept away by the magic!
What did the bride say when she couldn’t find her ring?
“I guess we’ll just have to make a ‘re-marriage’!”
What does a groom do at a wedding after the ceremony?
He sighs in relief until he realizes the real “work” starts!
The Best Dirty Wedding Jokes for a Fun-Filled Reception
Weddings are filled with fun moments, and adding a bit of humor makes it even more special. These jokes will have everyone laughing and creating unforgettable memories at your reception:
Why did the bride bring a pencil to her wedding?
Because she wanted to draw attention to her “perfect” marriage!
What do you call a couple that’s been married for 50 years?
Experts in the fine art of arguing without saying a word!
What’s the difference between a wedding and a circus?
The clowns get fewer laughs at the wedding.
Why did the groom keep his wedding ring in his pocket?
So he could always “reach” for it in an emergency!
What did the bride say when the groom proposed?
“You’re the only one who can make me laugh – and pay the bills!”
Why do weddings never run on time?
Because “I do” takes longer than expected, especially when everyone’s trying to find their seat!
Why was the bride so worried about her vows?
She was afraid she’d say “I don’t” when it was time for “I do.”
What’s the hardest part about getting married?
Making it through the “sappy” speeches without shedding a tear of joy.
Why was the groom so nervous during the wedding?
Because he knew he’d never hear the end of it if he messed up his vows!
Why did the bride blush when the wedding cake was served?
Because she knew the cake wasn’t the only thing getting a slice of attention!
Why do weddings have such big cakes?
To keep the guests occupied while the couple sneaks in a “quick” moment alone!
What did the groom say during his speech?
“Here’s to my beautiful bride, who has officially said yes… to everything I’ve ever asked for!”
Why did the bride refuse to take a break during the wedding?
She was already running late, and she had no time to be “swept off her feet!”
Why did the couple get matching tattoos on their wedding day?
Because they wanted to prove their love was “permanent,” no matter how long it takes to get over their first fight!
Why do wedding guests always feel like they’re on a “binge” during the reception?
Because it’s all about eating, drinking, and “loving” the couple even more after they’ve tied the knot!
What was the bride’s advice to the groom?
“Remember, love is like a car – you gotta put some gas in the tank every now and then!”
What’s the most surprising part of a wedding?
When you realize the most important person isn’t the bride… it’s the caterer!
Why do wedding speeches always drag on forever?
Because the best part of marriage is realizing you’re still “stuck” listening to these speeches!
What did the wedding planner say after everything was over?
“I guess it’s time for the ‘after-party’… or was that the rehearsal?”
What’s a wedding without a great toast?
A long one! Everyone loves a good speech, even if they’re just waiting for the cake.
Why was the reception so wild?
Because everyone was trying to out-dance the bride – and it was way more fun than the actual vows!
What’s the first thing a newlywed couple does?
Run out of things to say!
Why did the groom start practicing his speech at the wedding?
Because he was nervous it would take longer than the actual vows!
What do you call a wedding that takes place in a zoo?
A “wild” time for all involved!
What was the bride’s favorite wedding tradition?
The one where everyone cheers when she finally gets to toss the bouquet!
What’s the secret to a perfect wedding reception?
Keeping the groom away from the mic for as long as possible!
Why do wedding receptions often feel like a circus?
Because there’s so much juggling involved – from drinks to dessert!
What did the bride say to the best man?
“Try not to embarrass me too much while giving that speech – or I’ll have to take back my ‘I do!’”
Short and Sassy Dirty Wedding Jokes That’ll Have Everyone Laughing
Looking for some short and sassy wedding jokes to keep the laughter going? These quick hits will make your reception unforgettable:
Why did the bride say her husband was like a GPS?
Because he always led her in the wrong direction but she couldn’t live without him!
What’s the groom’s idea of a perfect wedding?
Getting through the vows without tripping over his words… or the bride’s train!
Why is marriage like a phone call?
Because you don’t realize how much you’ve said until you’ve said it all!
What did the bride say after the first kiss?
“Finally! I’ve been waiting to taste that cake for hours!”
What did the groom whisper in the bride’s ear during the ceremony?
“I hope you like what I’ve got under this tux.”
Why did the best man look so nervous?
Because he knew the bride’s father was watching closely… waiting for him to make a move!
What do you call a couple’s first dance?
A rehearsal for the rest of their marriage!
Why did the groom look at the cake so long?
Because he was trying to decide which part of his life would be more “sweet.”
What’s a wedding without a little drama?
Like a wedding cake without the frosting – it’s missing all the fun!
Why was the wedding planner always smiling?
Because she knew the bride was about to experience her first “love-hate relationship” with the wedding!
What do you call a wedding guest who can’t stop taking photos?
Someone who’s making sure the couple’s “first look” isn’t the only thing captured!
Why did the bride ask the best man to sit down?
Because she was tired of hearing his “serious” speech that was actually about her ability to “say yes” without thinking!
What did the groom say after he tied the knot?
“Now I guess I’m really ‘hooked’ on her!”
Why do wedding guests never leave early?
Because they know the afterparty is better than the ceremony!
Why do wedding rings always look shiny?
Because they’re a reminder that love doesn’t come with a refund!
Why do weddings always have too much cake?
Because no one can stop talking about the icing on the cake… especially when it’s on the bride’s dress!
What’s the best part of the wedding reception?
When the groom realizes the cake wasn’t the only thing he’d be eating after the vows!
What did the bride say when she saw the wedding cake?
“Does it come with a side of divorce papers?”
Why did the groom practice his vows in the mirror?
Because he needed to make sure he wouldn’t crack under the pressure… of the cake!
What did the maid of honor do during the ceremony?
She whispered, “I told you he was a keeper, but did you listen?”
What did the wedding photographer say after the ceremony?
“That’s a wrap, folks! Now we get to capture the real ‘I do!’”
Why did the wedding photographer look confused?
Because he couldn’t decide whether to focus on the couple… or the cake!
What’s the hardest part of a wedding?
Knowing the couple’s love isn’t the only thing that’s “sugar-coated!”
Why was the groom so excited about the reception?
Because he knew the bride wasn’t the only one who’d be getting “tied up” tonight!
Why was the groom so shocked when he first saw the wedding dress?
Because he didn’t realize the dress would be the one “stealing” all the attention!
Dirty Wedding Jokes That Will Leave Your Guests Blushing
Ready to turn the heat up a notch? These wedding jokes will leave your guests blushing, laughing, and maybe even a little embarrassed!
Why do brides blush during the wedding ceremony?
Because they know they’re about to walk into a lifetime of “I told you so” moments!
What’s the best part about the wedding night?
When the bride says, “I’m going to need more than just cake to satisfy me!”
Why do wedding guests always cheer at the vows?
Because they know the couple will be “tied up” in their love forever – no matter how much they deny it!
What did the groom say to the bride when she looked stunning?
“I didn’t realize I was marrying a goddess… looks like I’m the lucky one!”
Why did the bride make sure the groom didn’t skip the vows?
Because she knew it was his last chance to make a “commitment”!
Why was the best man so worried about his speech?
Because he knew the couple’s dirty secrets were about to come to light!
Why do wedding planners love their jobs?
Because they get to see the “real” love between the couple – and all the little moments that no one else gets to see!
What’s the biggest surprise about marriage?
That the “honeymoon” phase only lasts until you realize how much laundry you’re doing!
What did the bride say to her best friend after the ceremony?
“I just realized, I’ll be making dinner for two for the next 50 years – you think I’m ready for that?”
Why did the groom laugh when he saw the wedding cake?
Because it looked like the “perfect” dessert for his first year of marriage!
Why was the best man sweating during the speech?
Because he knew that the couple’s first argument would be the one he had to “mediate.”
Why did the bride laugh during the vows?
Because she realized the groom was about to make a life-altering promise he wouldn’t be able to keep!
Why did the wedding guests feel awkward during the ceremony?
Because they could see the couple wasn’t just promising to “love” each other – they were promising to “do” a whole lot more!
What did the groom say about the bride’s dress?
“It’s beautiful, but I think it’s a bit too tight – you’re going to need some ‘flexibility’ in marriage!”
Why did the bride make a toast after the wedding?
Because she wanted to make sure the groom knew just how “sweet” their love really was!
Why do wedding vows always seem so serious?
Because no one ever knows if they’ll be able to keep their promises after the honeymoon!
What did the bride say to the best man after his speech?
“Next time, leave out the ‘private’ jokes – some things are better left unsaid!”
Why do weddings always seem so emotional?
Because everyone knows that when you say “I do,” you’re also signing up for a lifetime of wild adventures!
What did the groom say to the bride after the wedding?
“Now that we’re married, does that mean I get more than just cake for dessert?”
Why was the groom staring at the wedding cake for so long?
Because he was wondering how long it would take to “eat” it all with the bride!
What’s the best part about being married?
The fact that you can finally say “I do”… and then be “done” with all the stress!
Funny Dirty Wedding Jokes Every Bride and Groom Will Love
Weddings are all about love, but sometimes a little cheeky humor is what makes the day unforgettable. These jokes will keep both the bride and groom laughing:
Why did the bride wear white?
Because it’s the color of the “invisible” bridesmaid dress she didn’t want!
What do you get when you cross a wedding and a grocery store?
A couple who’s “well-stocked” on love and supplies!
Why was the wedding cake so expensive?
Because it had too many layers of “commitment.”
What did the groom say about the bride’s bouquet?
“I knew I’d be the one catching it!”
Why did the bride bring a pen to the wedding?
Because she wanted to “sign” up for a lifetime of love!
Why did the groom refuse to help with the wedding planning?
Because he knew he’d be “tied up” for the next 50 years anyway!
What did the best man say to the groom?
“Marriage is like a deck of cards… At first, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade!”
Why was the groom so relaxed during the ceremony?
Because he knew the “hardest” part was already over – the proposal!
What’s the most “romantic” thing the groom can do for the bride?
Keep pretending to listen when she talks about the wedding plans for the thousandth time!
Why do wedding vows sound so serious?
Because no one tells you how many times you’ll have to say “sorry” after the wedding!
Why did the groom try to avoid the wedding photographer?
Because he knew the best shots would happen after the ceremony when they were “untangled.”
Why did the bride smile when the groom made a joke during the vows?
Because she knew that if they could laugh through the ceremony, they could laugh through anything!
What’s the real reason weddings have so much cake?
Because it’s the only time the groom can get away with something “sweet.”
What did the bride whisper during her vows?
“I’ll love you even when you forget our anniversary!”
What did the groom say when the wedding was over?
“Well, that’s one commitment down, a lifetime of surprises ahead!”
Why was the groom so excited for his honeymoon?
Because he knew he was about to get “some” alone time after all the wedding chaos!
Why was the reception so fun?
Because it was the perfect mix of love and a little “wild” behavior from the best man!
What did the bride say when she saw the wedding cake?
“That’s almost as sweet as I feel right now!”
Why did the best man keep joking at the wedding?
Because he knew the couple would need some laughter after all the “serious” moments.
Why did the bride wear heels to her wedding?
Because she was “ready” to elevate her love to new heights!
Why was the reception filled with music?
Because the couple wanted to dance their way into their marriage, literally and figuratively!
Why do wedding guests always ask about the cake?
Because they want a piece of the “action” too!
What did the bride say to the groom before the ceremony?
“Let’s make sure we’re ready to say ‘I do’… to each other and to the wedding food!”
What did the groom do during the vows?
He was trying to figure out how he could “smuggle” some cake back to the dressing room.
Why was the bride so calm during the vows?
Because she knew that no matter what happened, she had the groom in her corner.
Why did the groom tell his best man to “hurry up” during the speech?
Because he couldn’t wait to start the party!
Why did the bride blush during the wedding ceremony?
Because she was about to commit to a lifetime of “sweaty palms” and “I’m sorry” moments!
Why Did the Groom Laugh? Find Out with These Dirty Wedding Jokes!
Curious about why the groom couldn’t stop laughing during the ceremony? These funny jokes will reveal what’s running through his mind:
Why did the groom laugh when the bride walked down the aisle?
Because he knew the moment he had been waiting for was finally here, and the party was just starting!
What did the groom whisper to the bride during the vows?
“I can’t believe I’m about to marry the woman of my dreams… I hope she’s not just dreaming about cake!”
Why did the groom laugh after the kiss?
Because he knew the only thing “sweeter” than the kiss was the dessert at the reception!
Why did the groom joke during his vows?
Because he was nervous but also because he knew the only thing more important than his vows was the cake.
Why was the groom’s speech so funny?
Because he didn’t realize how much he’d “accidentally” share about their first date!
Why did the groom laugh during the first dance?
Because he was “spinning” with excitement but also terrified of stepping on her toes!
What did the groom say about the wedding cake?
“If I don’t make it through these vows, at least there’s cake waiting for me!”
Why did the groom laugh when he first saw the cake?
Because he knew the real reason people come to weddings isn’t for the vows, it’s for the cake!
Why did the groom have a smirk on his face during the ceremony?
Because he realized he was about to take on a lifetime of “supervised” decisions!
What did the groom whisper to the best man?
“I’m getting married, and I think the only thing I’m ‘tied up’ in right now is her dress!”
Why did the groom laugh during the ceremony?
Because he couldn’t believe he was actually the one saying, “I do!” to someone else’s “agenda.”
Why was the groom so excited for the honeymoon?
Because he was ready for more than just a “one night” stand, he wanted a lifetime of excitement!
What did the groom say to the bride after the ceremony?
“Now we get to spend the rest of our lives… trying to figure out where the heck the honeymoon is going to be!”
Why did the groom laugh when he saw the bride’s dress?
Because he realized he was “chasing” her down the aisle… in the best way possible!
What did the groom joke about during the vows?
“I’ll love you forever, even if you steal my side of the bed!”
Why did the groom laugh after the vows?
Because he was trying not to crack up thinking about how much work marriage really is!
Why did the groom joke during the vows?
He couldn’t help but laugh, he was already thinking about his “marriage to-do” list!
Why did the groom say the cake was the “best part” of the wedding?
Because he was hoping for a “sweet” ending after all the serious stuff!
Why did the groom giggle during the reception?
Because the best man kept making jokes about his “marital responsibilities”!
What did the groom laugh about after the ceremony?
He couldn’t believe that after all that planning, the one thing that really mattered was the “post-wedding” party!
Why did the groom laugh during the photos?
Because he realized he was going to be the one “in charge” of the couple’s future Facebook photos!
What was the groom thinking while standing at the altar?
“Hope this wedding is the beginning of ‘our’ forever, but first… cake!”
Why did the groom laugh during the vows?
Because he knew that even though his heart was full, his stomach was already thinking about the buffet!
Why did the groom smile so much during the ceremony?
Because he finally found someone who can “handle” all of his quirks!
Why did the groom laugh when the cake was cut?
Because he knew he’d have to “fight” for a slice now!
What did the groom say after the ceremony?
“Wow! We did it! Now, can we eat some cake?”
Conclusion
No wedding is complete without a little laughter to break the tension and add some fun to the mix. These dirty wedding jokes are perfect for making the day even more special and memorable. From jokes about the vows to the wedding cake, there’s something here for everyone. So, don’t hold back, share these funny lines with your friends and family, and let the laughter flow! Just remember, a little humor goes a long way in making a wedding truly unforgettable.
