Looking for some humor that will leave you laughing and cringing at the same time? If you enjoy a good laugh mixed with a little bit of cheeky humor, you’re in the right place! We’ve got a collection of dirty dad jokes that’ll make even the most serious person crack a smile. From crude to naughty, these jokes will definitely spice up your day.
Whether you’re hanging out with friends, trying to get a good laugh, or just in need of something funny to brighten your mood, these jokes will deliver. Perfect for adults who enjoy humor that pushes the boundaries, these jokes are sure to make a lasting impression. Get ready for some humor that’s a little bit naughty and a lot of fun!
Crude Dad Jokes Dirty Enough to Make You Blush
Ready for some laughs that push the boundaries? These crude dad jokes are not for the faint of heart, but they’ll definitely leave you blushing! Here are a few that’ll make you laugh harder than your dad’s old punchlines:
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts!
What’s the difference between a joke and two dicks?
You can’t take a joke up the ass!
Why did the scarecrow become a successful dad?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out!
I have a joke about construction.
But I’m still working on it!
Want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it’s tearable!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
Naughty Dad Jokes That’ll Make You Giggle (or Groan!)
Get ready for a mix of cheeky humor and laugh-out-loud moments! These naughty dad jokes will have you giggling (or groaning) in no time:
Why did the boy bring a ladder to the bar?
Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meow-tain!
Why don’t skeletons ever go out in the rain?
Because they might get “bone” dry!
I’m on a seafood diet.
I see food and I eat it!
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged!
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus!
Why don’t you ever see any elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re really, really good at it!
I bought a belt the other day.
It was a waist of money!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!
Why don’t eggs tell each other secrets?
Because they might crack up!
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
It’s a dad thing!
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
I’m no good at math, but I’m great at counting on my fingers.
And my toes too, apparently!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
I had a dream that I was a muffler.
I woke up exhausted!
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised!
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole-in-one!
Risque Dad Jokes to Spice Up Your Day
Feeling daring? These risque dad jokes are perfect for anyone looking to add a little spice to their humor collection! Get ready for a good laugh:
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom!
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
One’s a crusty bus station, the other’s a busty crustacean!
What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I’ll give these two a lift!
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room!
What do you call a fish that practices medicine?
A sturgeon!
Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To talk to the other side!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick!
Why did the man put his money in the blender?
Because he wanted to make liquid assets!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well!
What’s the hardest part about writing a book?
Getting it to stop writing back!
Why don’t ants get sick?
Because they have tiny ant-bodies!
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
Because it ran out of juice!
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hey, bud!
Rude Dad Jokes That’ll Have You Cringing (and Laughing!)
Brace yourself for some truly rude humor! These dad jokes are sure to make you cringe and laugh at the same time. Here’s a selection of the best rude jokes around:
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a factory that makes good jokes?
A pun-derground!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meow-tain!
I tried to catch some fog the other day.
I mist!
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re really, really good at it!
What do you call a fish who practices medicine?
A sturgeon!
Why don’t skeletons ever go out in the rain?
Because they might get “bone” dry!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
Why was the calendar so popular?
Because it had a lot of dates!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!
What do you call a frog with no hind legs?
Unhoppy!
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well!
Sexual Dad Jokes That’ll Have You Laughing and Blushing
These dad jokes are a little cheeky and a lot of fun! Get ready for some sexual dad jokes that will make you laugh while turning a little red:
What’s the hardest part about writing a book?
Getting it to stop writing back!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
I tried to catch some fog earlier.
I mist!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts!
Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To talk to the other side!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I’ll give these two a lift!
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out!
What do you call a factory that makes good jokes?
A pun-derground!
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off!
Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
Dirty Bad Dad Jokes You Won’t Forget
These bad dad jokes are sure to stick with you! Whether you’re cringing or laughing, you won’t be able to forget these dirty one-liners:
Why did the girl bring a ladder to the bar?
Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts!
I don’t trust stairs.
They’re always up to something!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?
Catch up!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
Why did the boy bring a ladder to the bar?
Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meow-tain!
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator!
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
Why was the calendar always so busy?
Because it had a lot of dates!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!
What do you call a fish who practices medicine?
A sturgeon!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To talk to the other side!
Dirty Dad Joke of the Day: A Quick Laugh
Need a quick laugh? Here are some dirty dad jokes to keep the mood light and your day a little funnier!
Why don’t skeletons ever go out in the rain?
Because they might get “bone” dry!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
What’s the hardest part about writing a book?
Getting it to stop writing back!
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out!
What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I’ll give these two a lift!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts!
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick!
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hey, bud!
What’s green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish!
What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?
Catch up!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
Dirty Dad Jokes 2023
Here are some of the best dirty dad jokes from 2023! The latest and greatest in cheeky humor. Get ready for some funny, cringe-worthy moments:
Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts!
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
One’s a crusty bus station, the other’s a busty crustacean!
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To talk to the other side!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!
What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream!
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator!
Why don’t cows have feet?
Because they lactose!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
I tried to catch some fog earlier.
I mist!
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meow-tain!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
Freaky Dad Jokes for Adults
These freaky dad jokes aren’t for the faint of heart. If you like humor that’s a little more twisted, these jokes are for you!
Why was the calendar always so busy?
Because it had a lot of dates!
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
What do you call a fish that practices medicine?
A sturgeon!
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meow-tain!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To talk to the other side!
What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts!
Rude Dad Jokes That’ll Have You Cringing (and Laughing!)
Brace yourself for some truly rude humor! These dad jokes are sure to make you cringe and laugh at the same time. Here’s a selection of the best rude jokes around:
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a factory that makes good jokes?
A pun-derground!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room!
What do you call a fish who practices medicine?
A sturgeon!
Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To talk to the other side!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick!
Why did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hey, bud!
What’s green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish!
What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?
Catch up!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick!
Conclusion
These dirty dad jokes might be a little offbeat, but that’s what makes them so much fun! Whether you’re groaning or laughing out loud, they’re sure to get a reaction. So, next time you’re looking for something funny and slightly inappropriate, remember these jokes and keep the laughs rolling!
