167 Cement Jokes That Are Solidly Funny and Built to Last!

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Cement might seem boring, but these jokes will prove it has some real punch! Whether you’re building something or just building up a good laugh, cement jokes are a solid way to brighten your day. They’re quick, silly, and work for everyone, from kids to construction pros. You don’t need a hard hat to enjoy them, just a soft spot for fun.

We’ve mixed up one-liners, clever puns, and short jokes that stick. Some are dry, some are goofy, but all of them bring the fun without cracking under pressure. Get ready to giggle with cement jokes that are built to last and easy to share. These jokes will stick with you, just like cement on your shoe!

Silly Cement Jokes that Will Stick With You

Got a soft spot for strong stuff? These silly cement jokes are hard to break and easy to love. Whether you’re into building blocks or just building laughs, these punchy lines will cement a smile on your face!

I tried to tell a joke about cement.
But it didn’t set right with the crowd.

My cement mix started a podcast.
It’s called “Solid Talk.”

Cement went on a date with sand.
Things got a little gritty.

The cement didn’t show up to school.
It had a hard time.

I saw cement dancing.
It had some serious concrete moves.

Cement tried out for a movie.
It nailed the solid role.

I asked cement if it needed help.
It said, “Nah, I’m setting my own pace.”

Cement applied for a loan.
It needed some structure in life.

Why did the cement get grounded?
It was mixing with the wrong crowd.

The cement joined a band.
It really rocked the foundation.

Cement loves social media.
It’s always sharing mixed content.

That cement’s so cool.
It’s the solid one in every group.

I found cement in my backpack.
Guess school’s getting heavier.

Cement started a workout plan.
Now it’s con-crete strong.

I told cement a secret.
Now it’s sealed forever.

The cement got stage fright.
It froze on the spot.

Cement doesn’t lie.
It always sticks to the truth.

The cement went viral.
It broke the internet’s surface.

I brought cement to a party.
Things got stiff real fast.

Cement wrote a book.
It’s a solid read.

Cement’s favorite hobby?
Hard-core gaming.

The cement chef is famous.
It has the thickest sauce.

I dreamt about cement.
It was a firm message.

Cement in therapy be like…
“I just don’t feel flexible.”

Cement started painting.
Now it’s a sidewalk star.

The cement passed math class.
It knew how to solve solid problems.

My dog chased cement.
Now it’s stuck in the backyard.

I told cement to chill.
Now it’s cold, hard, and silent.

Best Cement Jokes for Concrete Laughs

Looking for laughs that won’t crumble? These are the best cement jokes, built strong and funny for all kinds of folks, kids, builders, dads, and even that friend who laughs at walls.

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My cement friend started singing.
Now it’s got a solid record deal.

Cement joined a cooking class.
Turns out it’s great at making hard-boiled ideas.

They tried to prank cement.
But it didn’t crack under pressure.

Cement tried yoga.
It couldn’t hold the pose, it set too early.

My cement shoes are heavy.
But they keep me grounded.

I told a cement joke.
It really stuck with people.

Cement entered a spelling bee.
It got stuck on the word “mixture.”

The cement threw a tantrum.
It really lost its mix.

Cement’s favorite sport?
Rock climbing, naturally.

Cement went to therapy.
It had a lot of surface issues.

Cement watched a sad movie.
Now it’s emotionally set.

That cement’s got swag.
Total drip, zero slip.

The cement started a vlog.
“Hard Takes Weekly” is trending.

I hired cement as a bodyguard.
Solid choice.

The cement dated a brick.
They built something real.

Cement won the spelling contest.
Because it never mixes things up.

Cement likes scary movies.
It freezes in place every time.

Why did cement cross the road?
To lay down roots.

I asked cement if it was okay.
It said, “I’m just curing.”

Cement got an A+.
It nailed the foundation of the topic.

That cement’s so dramatic.
Always makes a scene.

Cement threw a party.
It was pretty laid-back… and flat.

Cement wrote a song.
It’s called “Stuck on You.”

I gave cement a compliment.
It took it to heart and set forever.

Cement loves school.
It’s always ready to build knowledge.

Cement at the gym is wild.
Always lifting heavy thoughts.

Cement and water had beef.
Now things are just a little thick.

Cement went camping.
It brought its own slab.

Short Cement Jokes That Are Solid Gold

Sometimes you just want a quick laugh! These short cement jokes are snappy, fun, and built to last, even if your attention span isn’t.

Cement’s late.
Guess it got stuck again.

I high-fived cement.
Now I’m stuck with it.

Cement blinked.
It cracked a little.

That cement’s got jokes.
It’s on a roll, just not moving.

Cement loves puzzles.
Especially the hard ones.

I told cement a lie.
Now it doesn’t trust me.

Cement ran a race.
It came in rock bottom.

Why is cement chill?
It’s cool under pressure.

Cement talks slow.
It’s always setting up the story.

Cement hates hot weather.
It starts sweating gravel.

Cement’s favorite app?
TikTock, it loves a solid clock.

Cement on a plane?
Heavy carry-on vibes.

Cement at the party?
Stuck in the corner.

I lost cement.
Just followed the solid trail.

Cement in court?
Guilty of being too dense.

Cement’s superhero name?
The Stabilizer.

I mailed cement.
Postage was concrete-heavy.

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Cement on a rollercoaster?
Didn’t move an inch.

Cement in a band?
It’s on drums, hard hits only.

Cement hates jokes.
Can’t take the cracks.

Cement’s breakfast?
Granite and toast.

I challenged cement.
It said, “Bet.”

Cement likes school.
It loves solid facts.

That cement’s emotional.
It’s setting off tears.

Cement’s secret talent?
Stone-cold dance moves.

Cement’s dream job?
Stand-up comic, zero movement, all punchlines.

Clever Cement Jokes That Won’t Crack Under Pressure

Brains and bricks go together sometimes. These clever cement jokes are sharp, but never stiff. Get ready for punchlines that build on smart setups.

Cement aced philosophy class.
It had a solid argument.

The cement wrote poetry.
It was deep, like a driveway.

I saw cement at a chess match.
It never cracked under pressure.

Cement solved a Rubik’s Cube.
Didn’t even break a sweat.

Cement applied for law school.
It had strong foundations.

Cement plays guitar.
Shreds like a sidewalk crack.

Cement won Jeopardy.
It answered with solid facts.

That cement’s got manners.
Always polished and smooth.

Cement read a mystery novel.
It figured out the plot, it was layered.

I hired cement for advice.
It gave grounded opinions.

Cement learned to code.
Now it’s building websites and sidewalks.

The cement ran for office.
“Build Back Boulder” was the slogan.

Cement studied math.
Now it’s good at solving mass problems.

Cement’s a foodie.
Loves things with real texture.

Cement and glass dated.
But things shattered quickly.

Cement likes silence.
It finds stillness comforting.

That cement’s on Twitter.
It posts heavy thoughts.

Cement’s favorite movie?
“Solidarity: The Rockumentary.”

I asked cement about change.
It said, “I’m set in my ways.”

Cement’s coffee order?
Extra thick.

Cement built a computer.
Made of blocks, of course.

Cement at karaoke?
Sings hard rock only.

Cement teaches physics.
Heavy subject, light delivery.

Cement in therapy?
“I’m tired of being walked on.”

Cement’s dating profile?
Looking for something long-lasting.

Cement joined a spelling bee.
Nailed “aggregate” like a pro.

Funny Cement Jokes for Builders and Brick-Heads

Calling all builders, bricklayers, and pun-lovers! These jokes are tailor-mixed for anyone who loves tools, trowels, or just terrible puns.

The builder hugged cement.
Now they’re stuck for life.

Cement joined the crew.
It’s part of the mix now.

Builder asked cement for advice.
It gave solid direction.

The brick told a joke.
Cement just stuck around for support.

Cement’s secret?
Always bonding with others.

The cement truck blushed.
It mixed feelings.

Builder’s favorite pet?
A concrete turtle, slow and steady.

Cement walked into the break room.
Everyone froze… literally.

Builder spilled cement.
Now he’s grounded.

Cement helps at school.
It lays the groundwork.

The hammer complimented cement.
It was floored.

Cement at lunch?
Brings heavy snacks.

Cement’s favorite tool?
It has a level head.

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Builder took cement to the beach.
It wouldn’t budge.

The blueprint laughed.
Cement didn’t crack a smile.

Cement fixed my driveway.
Now I can walk with pride.

Cement made a friend.
It bonded fast.

Cement’s dream car?
Something with curb appeal.

The worker slipped.
Cement caught him, solid reflexes.

Cement’s afraid of rain.
It melts under stress.

Builder yelled, “Lunch!”
Cement stayed. It doesn’t move for snacks.

Cement learned welding.
Now it’s double solid.

Cement’s favorite day?
Foundation Friday.

Cement did stand-up.
Nobody moved… classic crowd.

The foreman whispered.
Cement didn’t flinch, always cool.

Cement on break?
Still rock steady.

LOL Cement One-Liners that are built to last

Need a laugh that hits like a brick but lands like a feather? These cement one-liners are short, funny, and ready to set the mood. Great for quick giggles, text drops, or just being the punniest one in the group.

1. Cement has trust issues. It’s tired of being walked on.
2. Told my crush I liked cement. She said I had solid taste.
3. Cement isn’t clingy. It’s just naturally bonding.
4. Asked cement for help. It laid down the truth.
5. Cement in a debate? Always holds a firm position.
6. Dropped cement on my foot. Now I’ve got concrete evidence.
7. Cement doesn’t play games. It’s always serious mix-ness.
8. Gave cement a compliment. Now it’s solidly confident.
9. Cement at the party? Just vibing on the patio.
10. Cement’s playlist slaps. All hard rock and no filler.
11. Fell in love with cement. Now I’m stuck forever.
12. Cement at school? Top of the slab.
13. Told cement a secret. It sealed it tight.
14. Cement loves drama. It’s great at setting the scene.
15. Cement’s skincare routine? Mask, cure, repeat.
16. I wrote a poem for cement. It didn’t move a bit.
17. Cement’s favorite subject? History, it’s always laid out.
18. Took cement bowling. It crushed the pins.
19. Cement’s pet peeve? Cracks in communication.
20. Met cement at the gym. Stronger than your dad’s advice.
21. Cement plays hide and seek. But never moves.
22. I gave cement a gift. It was floored.
23. Cement’s favorite drink? Solid soda, no fizz.
24. Cement’s favorite movie? “Set It Off.”
25. Cement doesn’t do yoga. It refuses to stretch.
26. I ghosted cement. It’s still waiting where I left it.
27. Cement joined my squad. Now we’re rock solid.
28. Cement’s got bars. Heavy lines, no cracks.
29. That cement’s cool. Cold-hearted with a smooth finish.
30. I told cement a joke. It cracked up… just a little.

Conclusion

From silly puns to sharp one-liners, these cement jokes are as steady as they come. Whether you’re a builder, a pun-lover, or just passing time, there’s something here that’ll make your day feel less heavy.

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