If you’ve got a weird sense of humor and a strong belly, you’re in for a treat. Cannibal jokes may sound creepy at first, but once you read them, they’re more funny than freaky. These jokes take something gross and make it silly, so you laugh instead of scream. Whether you’re a zombie fan, a Halloween lover, or just someone who likes wild jokes, this collection is for you.
We picked jokes that are short, goofy, and made to tickle your funny bone (but not chew it). Some are clever, some are just plain weird, but all are good for a quick laugh. So grab a snack, just not your friends, and dive in. These jokes won’t bite… unless you do first.
Hilarious Cannibal Jokes for Kids and Weirdos
Who says cannibals can’t be silly? These jokes are wild, weird, and totally snack-sized funny! Get ready for punchlines that might just eat your brain, in a fun way, of course:
Why don’t cannibals eat comedians?
They taste too funny.
What did the cannibal name his cooking show?
“Man vs. Food.”
Why did the cannibal go to therapy?
He was having people problems.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite party game?
Swallow the leader.
What do cannibals eat at BBQs?
Human ribs, medium rare.
Why did the cannibal break up with his date?
Too much baggage… and bones.
Why don’t cannibals like fast food?
They can’t catch it.
What do cannibals bring to potlucks?
Finger food.
What do you call a polite cannibal?
A people-pleaser.
Why did the cannibal eat the clown twice?
He liked the taste of funny.
How do cannibals stay fit?
They eat lean people.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite movie?
“Silence of the Yams.”
Why do cannibals make terrible friends?
They always ghost you, literally.
What did the cannibal say after eating a gamer?
“Now that’s what I call XP!”
Why don’t cannibals ever go vegan?
They say veggies lack soul.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite app?
GrubHub, but for humans.
Why did the cannibal eat the librarian?
He wanted to digest some knowledge.
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Ladyfingers.
How do you stop a hungry cannibal?
Unfriend them IRL.
Why did the cannibal fail cooking class?
Too many raw opinions.
Why did the zombie break up with the cannibal?
He had no taste.
How do cannibals throw shade?
“Sweetie, you’re not even worth chewing.”
What did the cannibal write on his valentine?
“I chews you.”
Why did the cannibal start a podcast?
He had a lot to chew over.
How do cannibals apologize?
“I’m sorry I bit your vibe.”
What’s a cannibal’s morning routine?
Rise, grind, repeat (literally).
Why did the cannibal eat the magician?
He tasted like rabbit and mystery.
Creepy Cannibal Jokes That’ll Eat You Up
Feeling brave? These creepy cannibal jokes are cooked up just right, spooky, silly, and perfect for a dark laugh. If you’ve got a twisted sense of humor, dig in:
What did the cannibal say to the waiter?
“Please pass the person.”
Why did the ghost avoid the cannibal?
Even he knew when to dip.
What’s a vampire’s least favorite dinner guest?
A hungry cannibal.
Why did the cannibal wear sunglasses?
To hide his pupils.
How do you scare a cannibal?
Say “I taste like tofu.”
Why did the cannibal love Halloween?
Free costumes and snacks.
What’s a cannibal’s bedtime story?
Hansel and Regret-tel.
Why did the cannibal start gardening?
He ran out of people.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get away from the buffet.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite horror movie line?
“You’re next.”
Why don’t cannibals watch cooking shows?
Too many spoilers.
What did the cannibal bring to the haunted house?
A doggy (person) bag.
Why did the mummy break up with the cannibal?
Too clingy and chewy.
What do cannibals say at campfires?
“S’mores? Nah, let’s roast Dave.”
Why don’t cannibals play hide-and-seek?
They always eat the losers.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite ringtone?
Nom nom nom…
Why did the zombie envy the cannibal?
Better taste in people.
What’s a skeleton’s worst nightmare?
Getting served at a cannibal’s brunch.
Why was the cannibal always smiling?
He had a full plate.
Why don’t cannibals go camping?
They bring home the campers.
What’s the creepiest part of a cannibal’s kitchen?
The spice rack… labeled with names.
How do cannibals decorate for Halloween?
Skulls, bones, and leftovers.
What do you call a cannibal with good manners?
A serial dinner guest.
What’s a haunted house to a cannibal?
A buffet with extra screams.
Why did the werewolf run from the cannibal?
Even monsters have fears.
What did the cannibal write in his diary?
“Tuesday: Tasted regret, with ketchup.”
Why don’t cannibals shop at night?
They can’t trust their cravings.
Short and Funny Cannibal Jokes to Snack On
Got a tiny attention span but a big hunger for laughs? These short and silly cannibal jokes are bite-sized and totally snackable. No overthinking, just quick giggles.
Why did the cannibal get a job at the bakery?
He wanted people rolls.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite fruit?
Adam’s apple.
What’s on a cannibal’s pizza?
Spare parts.
Why do cannibals love music festivals?
So many fresh bites.
What did the cannibal say after gym class?
“Yum, gains.”
What’s a picky cannibal’s motto?
No junk food.
Why did the cannibal blush?
He saw someone delicious.
What do you call a singing cannibal?
Tuna flesh.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite soup?
Split pea-ple.
What’s the hardest part of eating a vegan?
All the judgment.
Why don’t cannibals share food?
They like people too much.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite ride?
The human carousel.
Why did the cannibal get kicked out of school?
He bit his classmate.
What do cannibals order at drive-thrus?
Fast food, slow cooked.
Why did the cannibal bring floss?
Leftovers.
What’s a cannibal’s worst enemy?
Tupperware.
What’s a dad cannibal’s best joke?
You are what you eat… so I ate Steve.
What did the cannibal write in a text?
“You up? I’m hungry.”
Why did the cannibal watch cartoons?
He liked Bugs Bunny stew.
Why did the cannibal visit the beach?
Fresh surfers.
Why did the cannibal start a blog?
To dish out bites.
How do cannibals say hi?
“Nice to meat you.”
Why don’t cannibals wear ties?
Choking hazard.
What’s a cannibal’s alarm sound?
Bacon-scented dreams.
Why did the cannibal go viral?
He had a killer taste.
Gross-Out Cannibal Jokes for Brave Bellies
Warning: These jokes might make your stomach turn, while you’re laughing! If you’ve got a strong gut and a twisted sense of humor, these gross cannibal jokes are for you:
What did the cannibal serve at brunch?
Elbow macaroni… made with real elbows.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite cereal?
Skin Toast Crunch.
Why did the cannibal bring wet wipes?
Cleanup after fingersnacks.
Why did the cannibal eat lunch alone?
Too many chewy guests.
What’s a cannibal’s dream job?
Surgeon… with benefits.
What did the cannibal do on taco night?
Used toe-matoes.
Why did the cannibal gag?
Too much hair in his stew.
What’s a cannibal’s version of wings?
Actual wings. From hikers.
What’s their favorite pasta?
Spaghetti with me-at sauce.
Why did the cannibal get sick?
Bad stomach, Greg didn’t sit well.
What’s the grossest ice cream flavor?
Bloodberry swirl.
What do cannibals hate about salad?
Not enough meat-skin.
Why don’t cannibals eat fingers last?
They get greasy.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite dessert?
Brow-knee bites.
How do cannibals spice their stew?
With toe-mato paste and spleen.
Why did the cannibal hate dentists?
He liked his food with bite.
What’s a soggy cannibal dish?
Soup of the day: foot broth.
Why did the cannibal order ribs twice?
One for now, one for the fridge.
What makes a cannibal burp loudest?
A meaty surprise.
What’s the best way to grill a person?
Medium scream.
What’s the worst side dish?
Toenail fries.
Why don’t cannibals like leftovers?
Too chewy on day two.
Why did the cannibal wear gloves?
So he didn’t get sauce on his nails.
What do they wash it all down with?
A glass of fresh-squeezed lifeblood.
Why did the cannibal cry at dinner?
His meal said, “Please.”
What’s a cannibal’s idea of a soft drink?
Brain slushie.
LOL: That Cannibal Joke Was a Mouthful!
Sometimes all you need is a quick laugh, and these one-liners are made to bite! Each one’s short, snappy, and full of flavor. Get ready for some real jaw-droppers:
1. Cannibals hate fast food , it runs away too quickly.
2. You are what you eat , that’s why Bob is now Steve.
3. Finger food is fun , until the fingers fight back.
4. Cannibals don’t eat clowns , they taste too funny.
5. Eating a mime is weird , it’s all silent chewing.
6. Cannibals skip vegans , too plant-based.
7. Human ribs? , fall-off-the-bone delicious.
8. Brains are best , but only if seasoned with smarts.
9. Leftovers? , still screaming the next day.
10. Cannibals don’t ghost you , they eat you.
11. BBQ with cannibals , bring extra napkins and… courage.
12. Stew with a friend , not in a good way.
13. Cannibal chef special? , surprise guest.
14. You’re invited to dinner , just not as a guest.
15. Bones make great broth , and even better decor.
16. Date a cannibal? , they’re always hungry for attention.
17. Fast food isn’t fresh , unless it’s still moving.
18. Cannibal cookbook? , chapter one: How to Meat People.
19. Eat your heart out , literally.
20. Don’t lend a hand , they’ll never give it back.
21. Cannibals don’t waste food , not even the weird parts.
22. Silence is golden , but screams add spice.
23. Dinner for one , includes one.
24. What’s for dessert? , something with a pulse.
25. Invited to dinner? , double-check the guest list.
26. Head chef? , not just a title.
27. You taste like trouble , and lunch.
28. Why so salty? , Oh, it’s just the seasoning.
29. One bite in and… , tastes like regret.
30. Meal prep tip: Avoid friends. They talk back.
Silly Cannibal Jokes Even Zombies Would Like
Not all cannibal jokes have to be scary, some are just plain goofy! These silly jokes mix weird with wacky, and even a zombie might giggle (if they still had lips). Let’s dig into the laughs:
Why did the cannibal wear a bib?
He didn’t want to spill the beans, or the brains.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite sport?
Swallow diving.
Why don’t cannibals ever lie?
They can’t stomach dishonesty.
What did the cannibal say during hide-and-seek?
“Ready or not, I’ll eat you anyway!”
Why was the cannibal’s band so good?
They really knew how to eat up the stage.
Why did the cannibal get kicked off the soccer team?
He kept chewing the opponents.
What do cannibals bring to school lunch?
Class-mates.
Why do cannibals never get hangry?
They always carry snacks, just in case.
What do you call a smart cannibal?
A know-it-gut.
Why did the cannibal eat the DJ?
He had good taste in music.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite subject?
Chew-ology.
What’s a cannibal’s dream vacation?
People Beach.
Why don’t cannibals do yoga?
They’re not flexible… emotionally.
Why did the cannibal fail his test?
Too many bite-sized answers.
Why did the cannibal join TikTok?
To show off his “meals of the day.”
What’s a cannibal’s favorite magic trick?
Making someone disappear… with BBQ sauce.
What do cannibals say on group chats?
“Who’s bringing the appetizers?”
Why did the cannibal laugh at the joke?
Because it was a gut-buster.
How do cannibals say goodbye?
“Catch you later… maybe in my fridge.”
Why did the cannibal get a pet pig?
So he could practice kindness. And bacon.
Why don’t cannibals use chopsticks?
Too slow when you’re starving.
What’s a lazy cannibal called?
Meal-prepper.
Why did the cannibal go vegan for a day?
Meat was on backorder.
What do cannibals say at bedtime?
“Sleep tight, don’t let the friends bite.”
What do you get when a cannibal tells jokes?
Stand-up and chew comedy.
Why was the cannibal on the news?
He ate the headlines.
What did the cannibal say after dinner?
“Bone appétit!”
Conclusion
Cannibal jokes are strange, silly, and surprisingly fun. They mix creepy with comedy in a way that makes people laugh no matter how wild they sound. If these gave you a chuckle, mission complete.
