Bed bugs might be tiny, but they sure can make a big mess unless they’re just here to make you laugh! This post is packed with bed bug jokes that are silly, weird, and sometimes a little gross (in a funny way). Whether you’re snuggled up in bed, hanging with friends, or just in the mood to giggle, these jokes are ready to crawl into your brain and tickle your funny bone.
You’ll find one-liners, silly puns, and two-liner jokes that are perfect for bedtime laughs or just bugging your siblings. There’s something here for everyone kids who love yucky stuff, grownups who need a chuckle, and even your teddy bear might giggle. Get cozy and dive into this goofy pile of bed bug fun. Just don’t blame us if you start scratching from laughing too hard!
Funny Bed Bug Jokes to Make You Itch with Laughter
Bed bugs might be tiny, but the laughs they bring are huge! From bedtime giggles to creepy crawly punchlines, these silly jokes are made to tickle your funny bone without crawling under your skin. Get ready to laugh so hard, you’ll want to check under your pillow for more!
Why don’t bed bugs ever get invited to sleepovers?
Because they never bedave!
My bed bug told me a secret last night.
But I promised I wouldn’t spill the sheets.
What do bed bugs use to text each other?
iBite!
Why did the bed bug take a nap in class?
It was just doing its bedwork!
My pillow has a bed bug with a podcast.
It’s called “Undercover Bites.”
What’s a bed bug’s favorite band?
The Rolling Bites.
Why are bed bugs so good at hide and seek?
They sheet you not!
Don’t let bed bugs read scary stories.
They’ll tuck themselves in too tight!
The bed bugs threw a party last night.
It was mattress madness.
Why do bed bugs love drama shows?
Because they’re full of bedtrays.
I tried to prank the bed bugs.
But they were already in on the joke.
How do bed bugs say hello?
“Nice to bug you!”
Bed bugs opened a bakery.
They call it Crumb & Crawl.
My bed bug got a job as a DJ.
He spins sheets like a pro.
What do bed bugs eat for dessert?
Pillow tarts.
Why was the bed bug so smart?
It always had its head on the pillow.
Bed bugs in my blanket are like popcorn.
They just pop up when I least expect them.
What’s a bed bug’s favorite sport?
Hide-n-sneak.
My blanket told me a bed bug joke.
It really tucked me in with laughter.
What’s a sleepy bed bug’s motto?
Crawl now, nap later.
I opened my book and found a bed bug.
Must’ve been a book-bed-bugworm.
Why do bed bugs love the dark?
Because they’re light sleepers.
I asked the bed bug for space.
It said, “Only if I get bed rights.”
What kind of shoes do bed bugs wear?
No-squeaks.
The bed bug started a YouTube channel.
It’s called Crawl Me Maybe.
What do bed bugs call their friend group?
The Blanket Bunch.
Best Bed Bug Jokes of All Time
Some jokes are funny, and some just bite literally! These are the bed bug zingers that people keep coming back to. Whether you’re snuggled under the covers or hiding under your pillow, these all-time greats will have you giggling in no time.
Why did the bed bug bring a map?
It didn’t want to lose its way under the sheets.
My bed bug got grounded.
It wouldn’t stay in its blanket zone.
What’s a bed bug’s favorite holiday?
Sleeptember!
Why do bed bugs never pay rent?
They live sheet-free.
The bed bug joined the circus.
It’s a real tight-sheet walker.
What kind of movies do bed bugs love?
Creepy crawlers in love.
I told a joke to my bed bug.
It rolled under the mattress laughing.
Bed bugs hate cold weather.
It gives them the sleep chills.
What’s a bed bug’s favorite ride?
The Blanket Coaster.
The bed bug went to college.
Now it has a degree in tickle-ology.
Why are bed bugs bad at soccer?
They keep crawling offside.
My bed bug plays hide and seek.
It’s the undisputed champ of the covers.
Why did the bed bug cry?
Someone stole its snuggle spot.
What kind of phone does a bed bug use?
A bugBerry.
I found a bed bug reading my diary.
It’s a real nosy napper.
The bed bug became a poet.
It writes in crawlics.
Why was the bed bug on the honor roll?
It got straight Zzzs.
Bed bugs tried starting a rock band.
They couldn’t stay on the same sheet.
Why did the bed bug join a gym?
To stay fit under the blanket.
The bed bug wrote a bedtime story.
It was biting-ly funny.
What do you call a musical bed bug?
MC Crawler.
My bed bug wore sunglasses.
It said it was a light sleeper.
What’s a bed bug’s favorite show?
Crawl & Order.
Why don’t bed bugs use elevators?
They climb everything instead.
The bed bug learned magic.
Now it can disappear into the pillowcase.
Bed bugs like cheesy jokes.
They just want to munch on some laughs.
What’s a bed bug’s dream job?
Professional blanket surfer.
Silly Bed Bug Jokes That’ll Keep You Up Laughing
Get ready for jokes that might just make bedtime too funny to sleep through! These silly bed bug one-liners are light, goofy, and made for kids and grownups who just want a laugh before lights out.
My bed bug is a night owl.
But it’s afraid of owls.
Bed bugs don’t snore.
They just buzz softly.
Why did the bed bug cross the mattress?
To get to the other sheet.
I think my bed bug has a crush on my blanket.
It’s wrapped up in love.
Bed bugs can’t drive.
But they sure know how to cruise the comforter.
My bed bug has a scooter.
It zips through the pillows.
Why do bed bugs love bedtime stories?
Because they’re undercover fans.
My teddy bear said there’s a bed bug inside.
It’s just bugging to get out.
Bed bugs opened a pizza shop.
It’s called Extra Cheese & Creep.
Why do bed bugs hum at night?
They don’t know the lyrics.
I told my bed bug a joke.
It said, “That bugs me.”
My bed bug is dramatic.
It wants an Oscar for crawling.
Why are bed bugs bad at tag?
They always hide too well.
My bed bug got a haircut.
Now it’s buzzin’ cool.
Bed bugs in winter?
Just snooze cruisers.
What do bed bugs wear to fancy dinners?
Little linen tuxes.
My bed bug made a TikTok.
It’s doing the buggy bounce.
The blanket had a bed bug band.
Their hit song? Crawl Me Maybe.
My pillow whispered.
“There’s a tiny concert going on under here.”
Why did the bed bug bring a friend to sleepover?
So they could double the tickles.
Short Bed Bug Jokes for Quick Giggles
Not much time? No worries! These short and sweet bed bug jokes are made to give you a quick chuckle and bounce out of bed (or maybe stay in and laugh some more). Quick giggles coming in hot!
Bed bugs love pop music.
They go sheet to the beat.
Got a bed bug in your ear?
It’s just pillow-talking.
The bed bug got expelled.
Too many sheet pranks.
Bed bug gym?
Crawlfit.
Bed bug ghost story?
Pillow-ween.
New bed bug movie?
Crawl Wars.
Bug fell asleep in my sock.
Now it’s toe-sted.
Sleepover canceled.
Bed bugs started a pillow fight.
Bug on a mission.
Call it Blanket Ops.
My bug likes jazz.
It’s a snoozy swinger.
Bed bug made breakfast.
Pancakes with cuddle syrup.
Heard a squeak.
Just a bug in fuzzy slippers.
Bed bug joined a book club.
They meet under the covers.
Bug gave me a note.
It said, “Let’s not fight tonight.”
Bed bug missed school.
Had a sheet cold.
It crawled into my dream.
I said, “Nope. Stay out.”
Why was the bed bug proud?
It passed its snuggle test.
Found a blanket cave.
The bug said, “Home sweet fluff.”
The bug went viral.
On NapTok.
It’s not dirt.
It’s just a bug in disguise.
One-Liner Bed Bug Jokes to Bug Your Friends
Sometimes all you need is a tiny joke with a big bite! These bed bug one-liners are short, snappy, and perfect for sharing. Whether you want to make your friends laugh or bug your siblings just a little, these zingers have got your back (and your bed)!
1. Sleep tight but the bed bugs still RSVP’d.
2. My bed bug just asked for a bedtime snack.
3. Blanket party hosted by the crawl crew.
4. Crawling in style is the bed bug motto.
5. It’s not dirt it’s a bed bug with plans.
6. Tucked in tight but the bug found room.
7. Snore softly or they’ll think it’s karaoke night.
8. Bug told me it prefers cotton sheets.
9. Under my pillow is a full-blown bug rave.
10. I blinked once and it was already on my sock.
11. This bed bug has a loyalty card for naps.
12. Caught one dancing on the edge of my blanket.
13. Don’t swat it it’s got feelings too.
14. It packed snacks for the midnight crawl.
15. Even my teddy said, “Not again!”
16. This bug’s bold it has its own pillow now.
17. Nap time? Not with DJ Bug on the beat.
18. Tiny legs but a whole lot of drama.
19. Bed bug dreams of winning a gold medal in crawling.
20. Creeped out? That’s just the intro music.
21. It left a note saying “Fluff happens.”
22. Bug logic: If it’s soft, it’s home.
23. I made my bed. It brought the popcorn.
24. Caught snoozing with sunglasses on.
25. Not scared just lightly panicked.
26. The mattress whispered, “They’re baaaack!”
27. Tried to swat it, now it wants a rematch.
28. It’s not bedtime, it’s bug showtime.
29. Why run? You’re already in its house.
30. The crawl is real. Sleep is not.
Gross but Giggle-Worthy Bed Bug Jokes for Brave Kids
Warning: these jokes might make you say “eww” and “haha” at the same time! If you’re brave enough to laugh through a little ick, these bed bug funnies are ready to crawl into your silly zone. Grab a pillow and get ready to giggle if you dare!
The bed bug said my toes looked tasty.
I told it, “Back off, bug breath!”
My sheet had a lump.
It was a bed bug doing pushups.
I found a bug flossing.
Turns out it had snack crumbs from my socks.
My bed bug started a slime club.
Membership is… itchy.
I caught the bug brushing its teeth.
With my shoelace.
The bug did a cannonball into my cereal.
Breakfast ruined. Laughs delivered.
Why did the bug wear boots?
It didn’t want to get sock fuzz on its feet.
Bed bug snuck into my hoodie.
Now it says it’s a fashion bug.
The bug was hiding in my burrito blanket.
Guess it wanted extra protein.
It used my earwax as hair gel.
Gross, but stylish.
The bed bug brought a suitcase.
Said it’s moving in forever.
He bit my finger.
I bit back. We’re even.
The bug did a backflip off my toothbrush.
I might never brush again.
It left a trail of glitter.
Bed bugs do party hard.
The bed bug said I smelled like chicken nuggets.
That’s not even rude it’s accurate.
It told me I snore like a vacuum.
Guess we’re insulting each other now.
The bug sent me a valentine.
It said “You’re my snack.”
It tap-danced in my sock.
That’s not talent. That’s rude.
It used my lip balm as a slide.
Wheee… then ewww.
The bug sneezed in my pillowcase.
Now I sleep with tissues.
It brought a fork to dinner.
I was the dinner.
I caught it with ketchup.
It said, “Don’t judge my taste.”
It left little socks in my drawer.
Tiny feet, big plans.
The bug made a hammock out of floss.
Impressive… but still gross.
It said it was a “comfort tester.”
Then it burped in my ear.
The bug told me I’m the softest couch ever.
I might cry.
It held a tea party in my armpit.
All guests had wings.
Conclusion
Whether they made you squirm, snort, or just smile a little, these bed bug jokes brought the silly side of bedtime to life. Next time you hear a rustle under your sheets, it might just be a joke crawling your way!
